


A Mighty Duel

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Yet Another Gratuitously Fluffy Darcyland Soulmate AU [26]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: All's Fair in Love and Paintball, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, But hey I have an excellent imagination and Google doesn't always fail me, Crack, Darcyland (Marvel), F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fun fact: the working title for this was ‘insert princess bride reference here’, I also realized it's been a hot second since I've written any TaserHawk and that is Unacceptable, Paintball, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, TaserHawk - Freeform, Write What You Know they said, blithely ignoring the fact that I know nothing of paintball or superheroes, so I write about superheroes playing paintball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 08:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20561594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: Darcy prefers to think of herself as a Self-Rescuing Princess rather than a Damsel in Distress, but that doesn't mean she's above accepting a little help from a friend.Or Soulmate.





	A Mighty Duel

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for [MidnightWolfy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightWolfy/pseuds/MidnightWolfy), who requested TaserHawk and supplied Clint's Words. Enjoy!

Darcy threw herself into an awkward roll, narrowly avoiding the paint that splattered against the wall she’d been standing in front of bare seconds earlier. _ ‘Why _ did I think this was a good idea,’ she muttered as she army crawled to better cover, her gun cradled in her arms the way Steve had shown them. ‘I picked a lousy time to forget I’m not athletic.’ Paint burst in bright puddles around her, encouraging her to crawl faster. It was probably Jane (the traitor), since her aim even worse than Darcy’s. If it had been one of the agents, she would look like a human manifestation of the rainbow bridge by now.

When Thor invited her and Jane to join the assorted Avengers on their team-building activity, they were dubious. When he explained that “team-building activity” translated to “epic game of paintball”, Jane was still dubious, but Darcy jumped at the opportunity. Sure, she’d never actually played paintball before, but she’d always wanted to, and what better first game than with the Avengers?

In her enthusiasm, she’d fallen victim to several classic blunders: 

  * She was not now, nor had she ever been, athletic
  * Take away her taser and her ability to aim was practically nonexistent

And most important:

  * Never go up against an Avenger when projectile weaponry was involved

The only reason she was still mostly Darcy-coloured and not rainbow bridge-coloured was because she was good at hiding. Really good at it. It was a skill cultivated over numerous alien invasions and supervillain attacks. Just one of the many perks of living in New York.

In the words of the Immortal Bard, Whoopdee-_bloomin’_-doo.

‘”Play paintball with the Avengers,” Thor said. “It’ll be fun,” I said.’ She snorted, shaking her head at her own youthful naivete. ‘I should’ve taken Balrog up on his offer to marathon _ Gravity Falls _ instead. He knew this would happen.’ Not that Balrog wouldn’t have been all over the opportunity to cover the Avengers in Bilgesnipe Green if given half a chance, but she hadn’t been able to figure out how to rig up a bilgesnipe-friendly paintball gun before the game. She was turning ideas over in the back of her mind, though, and she had no doubt she’d figure it out before the next game. If she survived this one.

She dove under one of the structures dotted around the paintball grounds just ahead of several bursts of blood-red paint. Great. If Natasha was gunning for her, she was _ dead. _And who said it was fair to have two out of three sspyssassins on one team, anyway? Sure, she had Bucky on her side, and Steve, both of whom were really, _ shockingly _ good at this—she’d expected Bucky to be, but she’d been convinced, obviously unfairly, that Steve would be terrible. Sure, back in the day he’d used a gun—and been pretty handy with it, if the newsreels were to be believed—but since he’d been defrosted he used his shield almost exclusively. Maybe it was like riding a bike or something. (Not that she’d know. She’d never learned.) 

Their side also boasted Pepper, whose skill with a paintball gun was both terrifying and somehow less surprising than Steve’s. But they also had Thor, whose aim was almost as bad as Jane’s. Apparently throwing a hammer at one’s enemies didn’t prepare one for the harsh, guerrilla warfare realities of paintball. Really, if it wasn’t for the fact that the other side had the abysmal aim of Jane and Tony to keep things level(ish), they wouldn’t stand a chance. 

Darcy poked her head out, pulling back behind the support just in time to avoid getting nailed right between the eyes. Dang, this must be how Balin and company felt trapped in Moria with a cave troll outside the door. Nat did know this was a _ game, _ right? And where was the rest of her team, anyway? Shouldn’t someone have her back?

A creak from the platform above her alerted her to the fact that she wasn’t as alone in her shelter as she’d initially believed. Maybe it was Bucky? She hadn’t seen him since the start of the game, and he seemed the type to find a hidden nest and pick off his victims one by one from a distance. Even if it wasn’t, there was no way she was getting out of this by herself. Pointing her gun at the opening in the platform—just in case it wasn’t Bucky—she said, _‘If you’re on my side up there, I could really use some help.’ _ She thought about it for a minute, then added, _ ‘If not, I’ll probably shoot you. Just so you know.’ _

There was silence, then the opening filled with the grinning face of the only sspyssasin that wasn’t on her team or actively trying to shoot her. _ ‘Help from above is a sniper on the roof,’ _Clint informed her.

She blinked at him. That was unexpected. Still, if he was offering… ‘I don’t care if it’s from above, behind, or upside down, I need it. But, um, aren’t you on the other team?’

He winked. ‘There’s no “team” in “soulmate.”’

‘That doesn’t even make sense,’ she said, but he’d already disappeared. There were several _ pops _ as he fired his paintball gun, and then the woods around them were filled with surprised yelps and outraged exclamations. 

‘OH, FOR THE LOVE OF BURNELL’S NOBEL PRIZE!’ That was definitely Jane. So he was actually taking out his own team for her? That was… Sweet. Weird and probably ill-advised, but sweet.

The noise of firing stopped—though the yelling didn’t—and his face appeared in the opening again. ‘Would milady care to join me in the crow’s nest?’ he asked, extending a hand to help her up.

‘Uh, sure?’ She eyed him warily as she let him pull her up onto the platform, but as far as she could tell he genuinely just wanted her company, no ulterior motives or surprise attacks involved. How had he lasted so long as a sspyssassin being this trusting?

‘So tell me,’ he said, slinging his gun across his back, ‘what’s a girl like you doing in a warzone like this?’

‘Questioning my life choices. Though I gotta admit, they’ve got more going for them now than they did a minute ago.’ She let her gun rest casually in her arms as she nodded towards the rest of the grounds. ‘I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not very good at this.’

‘Yeah, I was watching.’ Blue and silver paint splattered near his head in quick succession, and he dropped into an easy crouch below the wall. So Steve and Bucky were still out there somewhere. Had he only taken out his own team? ‘I thought about taking you out myself, but it didn’t seem fair. Like shooting a wounded animal or something.’

‘Hey!’

‘Not very sportsmanlike, y’know?’ he continued with a lopsided grin at her indignant yelp. ‘Now I’m glad I left you alone. You’re pretty good at evasion, but I can teach you how to shoot, if you like. After all, what are soulmates for, right?’

She shifted her grip on the gun. ‘A generous offer, but I think you’re forgetting one important fact.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Anybody can aim at point-blank range.’ Before he could twitch, she shot him dead centre in the chest.

He blinked down at the splatter of glittery purple paint, then looked up at her with the eyes of a wounded puppy. ‘Aw, Darcy, whyyy?’

She leaned down to kiss his nose. ‘There’s no “team” in “soulmate,” sweetie,’ she reminded him, enjoying how he stared up at her with mingled admiration and wry amusement. ‘Besides, I told you I'd shoot you. Pretty sure you've got proof of that tattooed,’ she waved a hand at him, ‘somewhere.’

‘It's on my left shoulder blade.’ He waggled his eyebrows. ‘I'd be happy to show you, if you want.’

‘That'll have to wait, I'm afraid. Right now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go help my team celebrate our glorious victory.’

As she dropped back through the floor, she heard him let out a chuckle. ‘I am in so much trouble,’ he muttered, but his voice was warm.

She grinned. He had _ no _ idea.

**Author's Note:**

> Clint's former team took turns ambushing him. For the next there months, he couldn't go a single day without having paint splattered somewhere on his person. He has no regrets.  
Darcy quite enjoys her shooting lessons, especially since they include the tropiest of 'let me adjust your position/help you aim' tropes. Her aim did improved. Eventually.  
I headcanon that JARVIS/FRIDAY does all of Tony's aiming for him, and thus he's no good on his own. IM3 and Endgame will back me up on this.  
Balrog eventually gets his own gun, is quite proficient, and refuses to be on anyone's team except his own. Not even Darcy is safe. He's a holy terror on the paintball field. Darcy is very proud.  
As always, feel free to drop a prompt in the comments below, or [shoot the breeze](https://taleasoldastime-andspace.tumblr.com/ask) on Tumblr. No smut, slash, or polyships, please and thank you.  
Namarie, my little bilgesnipes!


End file.
